I'm going to jail i love you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
