just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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