Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
