I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize