If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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