TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
