It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
