sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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