I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
