I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
