If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
