i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
