The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
