dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
