if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
