So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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