I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
