shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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