stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
