idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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