Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
