omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
