Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
