Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
