you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
