I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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