Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
