Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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