NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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