Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
