Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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