There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
