so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize