I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
