BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize