Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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