i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have feelings that need drinking.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
