Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
