I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
