Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize