I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
40s are totally the cure
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
