would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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