you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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