you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
