He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Still dying that you shit outside
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
