Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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