im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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