Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
