He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
