She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We need to get me chipped asap
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
