Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this boner is exhausting
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
