the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
