dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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