also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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