I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Green mimosas i think yes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
