For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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