Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
