Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
