As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
