After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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