and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
