There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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