What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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