i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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