You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
