cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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