He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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