The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i drank out of a bidet.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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