Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
