Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
