Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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