nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize